Monologue: An All-Purpose Oscar Acceptance Speech
Whew. Amazing. I can’t believe this. Thank you! You can tell that I’m very grateful by how emotional I am right now, though what you’re really seeing is incredible relief that I didn’t lose.
The Original Selfie
The Lord God pondered this and, soon after, gave the man a smartphone and said, “You may take pictures of the wild animals and birds with this. Notice how the camera feature is almost instinctive. Which is, obviously, how I would make a camera feature.”